Do not copy, reproduce or otherwise share this content without express permission by the author. 2008/2009
cozy country corner ...
A Bit of Bliss for the mind and soul ...
Nine out of ten I find myself repeating behaviors, speech, actions ... just this once I want to recreate myself into a unique and desirable creature ... I want to be the person I would be if I was the utmost I could be. -bd
I suppose to a child I seemed too complicated and therefore not interesting. I had given it my best shot. What I failed to realize was that my expectations were much too high. They were barely 5 and 6 years old and I was asking them to think like 30 year olds. Not likely. Their little heads nodded back and forth from left to right as they took in my full height with their precious little (now glazed-over) eyes. Once they seemed to have me in focus they dismissed me as if I were the most boring thing on earth.
My heartstrings uttered a very loud "thwang" as one almost broke but quickly readjusted itself.
My little minions had finally (and rightfully) grown past their enchantment with mommy and were now turning their attentions elsewhere. Lulu had just that very day experienced her first day of kindergarten. I suppose I had experienced it as well with Ms. Abigale here at home but on a different level. I wanted to take 2 excedrin and climb into bed. Lulu couldn't help, in her excited chatter, sharing every nuance of her day with her little sister. Abigale was all ears. She quickly left the arms of her mommy to give her sister the full-on attention she felt was deserved. I watched the two of them with their springy little curls bouncing all over their heads as they laughed, giggled, ooohhed and aaahhhed over every detail. I wanted to join in but was ever so uncalculatingly being left out. This was a reverent time of sisterhood. Mothers not allowed. That's it ... I grab the next best consoling thing in the house ... the sock monkey laying deserted on the floor by the sofa and head back to my bedroom where I am sure I can hear my pillow calling for me. Both girls have now turned the volume of their little voices into mere whispers and I am reminded that although my girls can unwittingly exclude me at times from their revelry, they are still, at other times, the most thoughtful and loving little girls in the land. No sooner had that thought left my mind than two bubbly little angels pounced onto my bed and filled my head with all sorts of 1st day of kindergarten tales ... Ms. Abigale faithfully filled in for her Lulu here and there just to make sure she gave me the full scope of details as they had been delivered to her. Although it's true that sisters share an impenetrable bond ... there is nothing better in the world than being a mommy. :)
Slippery slopes of mud ... that's all they were. It was raining so hard that the grass beneath us ended up just soaked and as we ventured down those "harmless" little hills we began slipping and sliding and then laughing so hard our bellies hurt. I tried so hard to catch my breath but just when I felt I was on solid ground again ... off I would slide. My white slacks were now solid brown and wet to the core. My blouse was slimy and stuck to me like a second skin. As I looked around at the others in our group we all looked as if we had just taken a dunk in a mud pond. How did this happen? Five executives on their way from a penthouse board meeting simply taking a "shortcut" to a small bistro just down the way and all of a sudden we were all tumbling like little rag dolls in a torrential rain. The wind was gusting and drowning out our squeals as we fell. Five out of five of us were suddenly transformed into little children as we laughed and hollered and soaked up this sudden and spontaneous incident. What else could we do? The laughter was contagious. None of us had control of this situation. By the time we all landed at the bottom of the hill we were so choked up we could barely speak but the smiles on everyone's face spoke for us. Not one person complained of falling ... not one was hurt. Not one person remained of the five that began the descent from the top of the hill for the five who once stood at the top of the hill were professionals, dressed to the nines, full of confidence and puffed up with stature. The five who landed at the bottom of the hill were mud-covered tassel headed little kids who had just taken the ride of their lives and were basking in the wonder and surprise of it. None of us are sure why it happened but I am here to tell you it transformed us one and all. To this day I take more time with my children to see the world from their perspective and to revel in the childlike freedoms that still abound. Mud ... it sure does wonders for the "complexion"! -bd
never have you left my side
though i was filled with judgement, filled with pride
never have you closed your ears
when i ranted & raved tho young in years
never did you refuse to touch
the heart of me you love so much
never have you turned away
though many times i'd gone astray
your name is love; your name i know
name above names, i love you so
when was the last time you felt that tingle?
your heart beat a little faster?
butterflies flitted around in your stomach?
when was the last time you felt your heart melt?
or swell with pride?
what about touch ... when is the last time someone touched you?
with a word ... a song ... a dance?
i hope it was recent; for to feel is to live. -bd
the very essence of life holds within it
a little treasure for everyone
tho we are individuals we share many of the same components
emotion, for instance;
it bonds us together and stirs recognition
in the most unexpected of ways
at the most surprising of times -bd
Once upon a time there were homes where the mommies and daddies stayed married forever and ever. There were neighborhoods where children could romp and play to their heart's delight with no fear. Street lights coming on at dusk were a signal to go home to family time. Children took pride in their chores and tried to be the very best at what they did. Families prayed together and grew stronger for it. A child's imagination was a delightful thing ... there were no cell phones, no iPods or computers or gameboys. There were families around a board game on Friday nights or perhaps children with crayons and a blank page to color on & explore or modeling clay to be molded into all sorts of imagined shapes. Once upon a time there was peace within the home and home was where the heart was. We can not change the moral fabric of this current world we live in overnight, however, we can make an immediate change in our own hearts, in our own homes and commit ourselves to realize the true meaning of commitment, romp and play to our heart's delight with our children or our mates ... make time for "family-time" often ... direct our children and teach them the value of chores; praising them for jobs well done upon completion ... may we fill our children's time with events of value and learning instead of filling their hands with idol pieces of technology which will rob them of their rightful childhoods and last, but not least, may we all explore and mold our futures into wisps of time that glorify God. -bd
I am just a little tired of all the "girl stuff" going on in my life right now. Who knew that as you grow older more "stuff" happens to you physically than you can even imagine. Okay, I suppose I should preface this with the fact that not "that much" stuff has happened to me and I hope it doesn't however ... I am just awestruck at how so many women kind of suffer through the transition of physically going from "young" into "mid-life". It can be daunting! I would love to contribute praise about this particular subject but somehow feel that prayer would be more appropriate! lol I would like to extend an invitation to all of the readers out there to create a forum within these pages to talk about it. Anyone out there interested? Sign in to THE GUEST BOOK and blaze a trail! -bd
American Idol? Every year I hear different people say they are not going to watch this show again because there inevitably comes a part of the show where someone they think is talented more than the others is voted off by either the judges in the beginning or an ignorant America thereafter. My question upon hearing this (it just intrigues me) is "do you even vote?" and usually the reply is "no" which just cracks me up! Perhaps we just need to not have an opinion unless we are participants. After all, it's all just for folly anyway. Even the very smallest of issues in our daily lives can be reason for prayer or even dictate worthiness of praise! :)
(Scott Wayne Black III) There he was ... fresh out of the "oven" and I fell in love. Head over heals in love. Love hit my heart with a luxurious "twang" and I haven't been the same since. With every grandchild, I glow, I grow ... I know that once again I have experienced a blessing beyond words. May our entire family provide him with all the love & encouragement he needs to become the happiest and healthiest little boy he can possibly be! -bd
a bit of laughter, a bit of bliss
a bit of life, hit or miss
a bit of sadness, a tear in the eye
a bit of love felt by and by -bd
she was down, haunched on her chubby little legs
ready to leap like a frog
into her father's arms
as he came walking
across the yard
acting as tho
he didn't see her there
and gales of giggles filled the air
it's the "smallest of" in this life that brings the greatest reward
She appeared old, worn-out and haggard in the face
the deep wrinkles that lined her eyes told lies of her age
when she walked her pace was slow and shakey; unsure
it was only when she spoke; that you were caught unaware
for a quiet, soft voice would come forth; carefree as feathers floating toward your ear
her heart's voice, it was,
and if you had the time to stop and listen you, too, could be blessed by true beauty
when we were young, maybe you were 5
and i was 3
we would dress up like cowboys and indians (we did dress up didn't we?)
and you would chase me around the house
and i would always get captured and burned at the stake. ah ... memories!
It's never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
|Isn't it something when you run across a small child that not only seems to "know" what they will become but is so convicted that years later (after dedicating their entire lives to their goal) they end up realizing their dream? I have seen it with my own eyes and am amazed. (We are so happy for you, Brad!) I still, at 50, have no idea what I want to be when I grow up ... I only know that one day I only hope I find myself to be at peace with that which I've become.||
As a small child I would clamor to answer that very question, though ... I remember saying I wanted to be a veterinarian more than any other choice, I also wanted to be a dancer or a professional singer/songwriter. None of those things have come to be so I'm still waiting to see what happens. I did become a mom to four beautiful children along the way. (Thank you Lord!) Even today I am asked off an on and probably in "jest" what I want to be when I grow up and I think to myself ... I really want to be whatever it is God wants me to be. Yes, some of us seem to know right from the time we are old enough to speak while others of us may seem to be "drifting". But you never know ... perhaps we are all right where we are supposed to be, after all.
In the quiet of my room I see your word ... resting over there on the table where it always is. It looks lonely, neglected and dusty. Something draws me to it ... perhaps it is the gold that shines so brightly ... the gold that edges all of the pages (almost imperceptibly when opened). I read just a few short passages then feel an urging to press on and as I read I am filled once more with hope, renewal, strength and excitement. I am reminded once again that this is a book that should never collect dust. -bd
You told me not to worry about the bird bath at the bottom of the hill. You assured me that there was no way I could possibly hit it. It was dead center at the bottom of that hill. That hill which seemed like a mountain to me at the time and yet when I was last there, just 2 years ago, I realized it was barely a hill at all. You helped me to navigate my path and then you kissed the top of my head and let me go. Down that hill I sailed ... the wind blowing my hair back from my face. Exhilaration was mine for a second ... and then ... my focus on NOT hitting the bird bath seemed to steer me straight towards it. I could hear you urging me to turn my handle bars so I would turn away from it and yet ... I couldn't. I smacked that bird bath straight on. My little bike stopped instantly but my faith in you never wavered, for as you picked me up off the ground (snickering, if not out and out laughing), you were reassuring me that I was okay and I believed you. My skinned knees and elbows would be a temporary reminder of the day I learned to ride my bike. You told me how proud you were of me. You made everything okay. You always did. I miss you so! - thoughts of my father - may he rest in peace. 5/2/33 to 12/25/94 -bd
I just passed the point in my current pregnancy at which I miscarried our baby during our last pregnancy. That point brought many raw emotions back to the surface for both myself and my husband. Fear, praise, sadness, joy, loss and yet it became a point for me to turn from yesterday and look forward to tomorrow. Each pregnancy, each harboring of a tiny growing baby is significant, important and powerful. With each of my pregnancies I have had new experiences ... each one has been unique. This time we are forging forward to have a baby we have prayed for over many years' time. Just this week we were told that there may be challenges with our new little one. This will increase our time on bended knee. But all I really hope for is that God see us through to the end of this nine months and that He prepare us for whatever lies ahead. We love our baby, as we hope he/she will love us ... in all our imperfections.
- Jasmin Black, Joliet, IL.
Take time to dance, to laugh, to praise, to engage life! Even in the most dire of circumstances, if we just take a deep breath, force a smile and remember something that caused us great joy ... we will trigger a moment of bliss. It's the world's eighth wonder! - bd
My father passed away back in 1994 on a cold Christmas morning after fighting the hardest battle he ever fought ... with an unworthy opponent ... cancer. That's right, after 3 seemingly unending months he surrendered around 11am on Christmas day. My parent's neighbor, upon hearing the news, came right away to offer his condolences to my mother with this thought, "Betty, the reason God chose today to take Gene home was to give him to Jesus as a birthday gift". Although it didn't erase our pain, it caused us to pause in the moment and feel a bit of calm. Love has a way of seeing us thru and beyond what WE feel we are capable of and transporting us to a place where God wants us to be.
It is well with my soul. -bd
as though no one is watching you.
as though you have never been hurt before.
as though no one can hear you.
as though heaven is on earth.
softly i heard you call my name
i swayed to the music of your voice
i payed attention yet all the same
my path was that of another choice
tears fall down my cheeks as i recall
the very exact moment of it all
what was i thinking when my feet went astray
from your earnest beckoning there on the way
when i felt in my soul all was surely lost
there you hung for my pardon ... there on the cross
sometimes if we don't stop to listen,
stop to feel, stop to see ...
and life leaves us cold
all we need do is look up
then forgive that
which caused us sorrow
and press on -bd
for us to
fill them up
hope, laughter, love,
and all other
that will make
them just as
as they are on
our efforts. - bd
there will be many times that we will seek understanding along the way, you and i
may i always hear you
when you beckon me to
may you always hear me
when words of wisdom
that will keep you
from harm's way
fall upon your ears
and words of love shower you
enough to fill your heart
how do we manage to weather the teenage years?
we who now have teenagers
once upon a time,
full of conflict
defiance and ignorance
we once worried our parents
and tried our teacher's patience
how do we lead
when we too were once followers
how do we succeed
where others have failed
listen my friend
and i will tell you this simple truth ...
LEAD by example
INSTITUTE a strong moral
REACT with a tender heart
RESOLVE to do what is right
instead of what is easy
QUESTION with authority
INSIST on honesty
and STRIVE not to enable
COMMIT to saying "no" when "no" needs to be said
most of all ... LOVE
there was a quirky, catchy tune
running thru my head
i thought of you, of us, enough said
it brought a smile to my lips
to my heart ... to my soul
and i longed for those times
now long lost & blackened like coal
we used to dance, to play
to sing at the top of our lungs
then an illness came calling
put a quick end to our fun
no longer the spontaneous laughter
pain lingers, loss envelopes with
questions of life's worth
illnesses happen, this much i know
but what happens after
left me steel blue and cold
'til a quiet voice, a quirky song
played in my head
and for the first time since
i now realize
you'll never really be dead
it brought a smile to my lips - bd
a little waggly tail
a long sloppy tongue
just a dash of frolicking
you look up at me
eager for our next step
could be all wrapped up
in a bundle of fur
They say great things come in small packages.
This is true.
Time and again
it's the smallest of things
in this life
that bring us the greatest joy.
dandelions given to us by a small child,
look at you all grown up
what are you ... three now?
you are such a big girl
i see you creeping around the corner
ready to bless the teddy bears
strewn across the floor
with your princess wand
you step so carefully
in your pink "glass" slippers
(wouldn't want to scare the bears)
and so softly, gently ... you press
your wand to the first one's head
and with a concentrated look
on your pretty little face
you say "awise!"
and i try diligently to keep the laughter inside
that is trying so hard to escape
once again you teach me
the simple, innocent faith of a child
I hear their tiny footsteps softly tap across the floor, timid and unsure at first then it seems
as though I barely turn around
and those tiny taps turn into sure footed sprints
running here & there
to & fro
I remember my grandmothers
Oh, how I cherished them
and suddenly my arms
are full of cute little curly-headed children
begging for my attention
and those freshly baked
peanut butter cookies.
even in as much as I am not the grandmother that my grandmothers were to me
my grandchildren only see the only grandmother I have ever been ... that they have ever had and they cherish me.
they bless me beyond words.
I LOVE YOU JASON, JADA, TRINITY, MALIYAH, YZELL, CUBBY, SUMMER, SCOTT & NALIVIYAH